EPIC Fail....

*hanging head in shame*

Ok, so in my last entry, I was determined to finish NaNoWriMo. I was set on my path that I was going to accomplish something this time around.

I am sad to report that this wasn't the case.

Not only did I not complete NaNo - I didn't even get it started! I haven't written one word all month! And I am so ashamed.

Unfortunately, reality - as much as we'd like to shove it aside - does get in the way. And in my world, that reality consists of a whole lot of family issues, two jobs, health problems, and general mental breakdowns. The latter of which are happening way too often for me to be comfortable with. I mean, I have no issues with admitting I'm a little nutsy-fagan. But lately I've begun wondering if I should be measured for the lovely white jackets, and put in a request for a decorator for my local rubber room.

It's nothing for you to worry about, my dear friends. I'm not going to go stereo-typical crackout and climb a clock tower with a rifle. And I don't have any desires to cause myself any harm (or others for that matter).

I just tend to float in and out of reality for awhile each day. My brain shuts off far more than I'd like it to. I'm convinced it's a defense mechanism. But against what - I'm not too sure.

I do plan on getting back into the swing of it all. I have a few submissions that I need to get in order for their deadlines. I promised myself I'd get to work on my website. And I do have to choose my next class.

Christmas is coming - that in itself brings a whole lot of family issues this year. And, I hate to say it, I'm dreading it's arrival. It's my first one without my father, and my grandfather (who's been in hospital for almost three months) might not be here to see it. It's going to be a tough one, that's for sure.

So, while I didn't accomplish my goal this year, I'm going to forgive myself. And promise to do better next year.

It's heeeeeeere.....

And so it begins.

Yes, it is November.

Yes, it is NaNo time. (NaNoWriMo for those of you who just got back from Guam).

That one month of the year where anyone who fancies themselves a writer frantically puts pen to paper, fingers to keyboards, and heads to desks in an effort to complete the daunting task of finishing a novel (50,000 words) in 30 days.

Are YOU one of those brave souls? This year, once again, I will be one of them. Maybe this year, I'll finish.

For the third year in a row, I accept the challenge. Now - accepting and completing are two totally different things. Because, as with everything we WANT to do, reality gets in the way with things we HAVE to do.

Like work. Job #2 requires that I sign my soul away for ten days every November. Sleep and I become estranged, as do nutrition and I. I learn to survive on five hour energy drinks, many jolts of caffeine in different forms, nicotine, and sugar - lots and lots of sugar. All in all, once the 14th of November hits, I will have completed, between BOTH my jobs, about 130 hours of work - give or take. Which isn't bad if it was evenly spread out throughout those ten days. But it's not.

And then, factor in daily requirements - laundry, general housework - which somehow multiply in those ten days, and find the time to socialize with family where the conversation consists of more than monosyllabic grunts of "Hi." "Fine." and "G'night."...well, you see where I'm going with this.

All in all - real life does not want me to complete NaNo. But damn it! *I* want to finish NaNo this year.

And so I shall.

Somehow,

someway.


Someone said to me "But you finished NaPoWriMo. Surely you can do this." Ummm, well...did you see the word count requirement? FIFTY. THOUSAND. WORDS. National Poetry Writing Month was free form - really, the only rule was to write a poem a day. No word count.

This task is a little different. More of a challenge. More frightening, more daunting, more, everything. But I shall persevere.

I. SHALL. CONQUER.

To all my fellow scribes participating - I wish you the best of luck. If you are participating and you want to be writing buddies - you know, for moral support, bitching, and all that - just look me up.


My writing name? Angellz - of course. :D

And let's start this month off with a rocking anthem - cuz I'm gonna Do Things MY Way.



Take it away boys.