NaNo NaNo...

Or is it supposed to be NaNu NaNu? I get mixed up. :P

Nope - it's true, it's true. It's once again, in less than seventy-two short hours, the beginning of NaNoWriMo - or National Novel Writing Month.

And once again, I will be at a severe disadvantage because of work.

I mean, really. Can't they move it to another month? Don't the powers-that-be realize that November is a stressful time of year for me? Don't they realize that I'm out of commission for ten days due to fourteen or sixteen hour work days? I mean, ok, I'm not the most disciplined person to begin with. But come on. Give me a bit of a fair shake will ya?

I've participated the last four years - and failed all four years. SIGH.

It's never easy to write on a deadline. If it was, everyone would be doing it. But when the purpose is to write 50,000 words in 30 days, you need all the time and head space you can get. To top it off, it's got to be fresh. Something not pursued. You can outline, you can plot, but you can't write. I didn't even plan it this year. I just had an idea, and signed it up this morning.

*cue freak out music here*

To top it off, I'm not writing erotica, which is kind of freaking me out because it's all I've been writing for the last six years. It's hard to remember that I wrote "other" genres before this. However, that's not really the problem. The problem is the math. In order to hit the deadline, spread out over the 30 days, you have to write minimum 1,666.66 words every day (LOVE the 666). That in and of itself is a daunting task. However, if you remove the ten days I'll be on the shelf, plus one or two for recovery because sleep will be impossible, that cuts it down to *counts on fingers* eighteen days. That moves the word count per day to 2,777.77.

Yeah. Right.

You might say I'm psyching myself out before I even get started. True. It's something I do best. The other option is to work, not worry about it, and then spend the remaining eighteen days locked in my room with my computer and just write. Forget everything else. Ignore all other distractions like friends, family, LIFE.

Cuz, you know, I'm good at that.

But - the point of the matter is that I'm getting back up on that horse. I'm going to try it again.

Because if you don't try, you can't succeed. And who knows? This book might wind up being good. But either way, I'm going for it.

How about you? Are any of you taking the NaNoWriMo challenge? If so, feel free to add me as a writing buddy. Just look up Angellz. :D

See you there.

Endings...

Hey gang.

Long time no talk right? Yeah, I know, I'm horrible at keeping y'all updated and what not. It's because I've got so many WIP's and nothing really complete. I kept feeling that I had to write something extraordinary in order to keep you interested. And maybe that is the case.

But maybe not. We all know that life gets in the way of what we love doing. And if you're lucky enough to get paid to do what you love doing, then life is amazing. Not all of us are that lucky though.

I was going over my works in progress today, and realized that I'm amazing at foreplay, but not so great at the finish. I think it's because I hate writing endings. I really do. I don't know why - it must be some sort of writers condition. Maybe it's because I hate that good things must end, because everything will, and does in fact, end.

But whatever the reason, I have TONS of great beginnings, and most lead to mediocre middles. But there's no endings. I'm absolutely horrible at finishing things. And just when I think it's safe to revisit one, to maybe finally get it done, more voices start telling me their stories and I'm really given no choice but to start listening.

It's really crowded up there sometimes.

I have notebooks with pages covered in little notes, or quotes, or point form plot lines. I'm so disorganized that there are days I feel there's no hope. And yet the little snippets keep on coming. Sometimes it's at work, where I meet lots of random people all the time, and maybe I meet someone so absolutely charismatic that they inspire a character, or situation. Sometimes it's the middle of the night, and I have to try and scramble for a pen to write it down. I have to say though, those notes are the most fun to attempt to decipher. My handwriting at 3am leaves a lot to be desired. And then, if I'm lucky, those snippets, inspirations and ideas become a beginning.

Which leads back to the problem of endings. I figure at some point, they all have to end, right?

And to tell you how deep the problem goes, I'm having problems ending this post too....