Thursday, January 9, 2014

Happy New Year! It's THE year.

Ok, so we're nine days into the new year, but it's my first chance to sit and talk to y'all.

So let's talk resolutions. We've all made 'em. And once January is over, we all tend to break them.

Whether it's to lose weight, eat healthier, take better care of ourselves. Whether it's to do more on our bucket lists or to do more towards our futures. Come February first, we're all back into the deep fried snacks, neglecting the gym, spending more time in front of our computers, televisions, mobile devices.

That new guitar that we learned three chords on is sitting gathering dust in the corner. The date book filled with coffee dates and plays that we wanted to see is suddenly blank.

I go through this year after year.

I'm going to eat better. 
I'm going to go to the gym four days a week.
I'm going to keep the house clean.

I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to.

It always breaks down to - I WAS.

This year, I've decided to not make specific resolutions. I've made only one.

For 2014, I'm going to be the best me I can be in that moment. I'm not going to put pressure on myself to be something right away that I obviously can't.

I'm going to do my BEST to make the right choice. It won't always work out that way. I'm going to fuck up.

That story I started for that deadline will probably sit half finished until the day before I have to send it for submission.

The laundry basket will pile up.

The television will be on when I should be studying.

And I will be daydreaming when I should be working.

BUT, not every day will be like that. There are days when the laundry will get done, folded and put away. And there will be that one, maybe two, stories that will be submitted a week or two before deadline.

There will be those days where I finally clear my desk. And there will be weeks that I do make it to the gym four days out of seven. And those will be very good days.

I'm not going to beat myself up anymore or stress over shit that's really not important in the grand scheme of things. I won't hate myself if I overdo it on my calorie count. I won't glare at myself in the mirror if I drive by the gym and go home instead.

And above all, I'm not going to let assholes and bitches take away my good moods anymore. I will no longer be a doormat, but I'm not going to let hate poison my life.

I am going to accept that I am who I am, and I'll change if I want to - not to make someone else happy.

And if you can't accept me the way I am - with my heart of gold on my sleeve who's a little selfish at times but who really does want to be a good person - then get the hell out of my life.

There's no room for negativity this year.

This year, I turn 40. And I couldn't be happier about it. I've got big plans for this year.

But I'm ok if they all don't happen.

But that's an entry for another day.

May 2014 bring you all health, and happiness.

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