I follow lots of sexy people on twitter. A few are our fellow smut mongers, a few are famous for other reasons, and a lot are my very hawt & sexay personal pals.
One I've recently started following is the Sexstrology Blog. They have a list of How To's when it comes to seducing your chosen male/female astrological sign.
I thought for shits and giggles, I'd check out if mine is accurate. So I've reprinted it here (linked to them as well) with my thoughts included. When you're done laughing at this, head on over and check out your own.
Sexstrology Blog: How to Seduce A Cancer Woman
Often thought of as infuriating, Cancer women are rather… misread. It is best that before you proceed with your plans of seduction understand that they need to be understood. At ALL times. (Damn skippy darling) They need a partner who is going to understand that they are moody by nature (they say moody - I say bitchy). Though it may sound like they are upset with you, they are simply venting in general (no, chances are I'm pissed off). They are sensitive but not only with themselves but to those around them. Some would rather not put the work in and that is fine with them. They are one of those signs that doesn’t need, they have to want (oh no - that's wrong - there's LOTS I need AND want).
A Cancer woman is very cut and dry; you can take them or leave them. That being said, it does not mean she is void of passion or emotion. It is quite the contrary. She may just as well be too passionate and emotional. She feels her way through life’s decisions and does not look back (ummm - I'm ALWAYS looking back - in regret mostly). So in order to seduce her, she needs to be in the mood (this is true - sort of. If he has his mind on seducing me, it's easy to get past my defenses). If she is in no mood to date, you won’t get to even knock on her door.
So how do you get your Cancer woman in the mood? Be direct with your intent. She wants a partner who is not needy or greedy (well, it's nice to be needed...and greedy can be fun once in awhile). For all her shyness (HA!) and general reserve (*giggle*), she admires and appreciates a partner who is confident and forthcoming (nothing sexier than confidence that's for sure). If you are less than that and she finds out, you are cut off completely and irrevocably (actually I tend to waver on this one). Once a Cancer woman decides to have a partner in their life, whether it is a booty call situation or a relationship, they take it seriously (well this is definitely true). They like parameters and would rather not have them changed without being mutually agreed upon.
She will have no problem leaving you behind (REALLY? Ok maybe in one or two special circumstances but usually not this Cancer - no one gets left behind - I'm kind of like the military that way). It sounds harsh and it is but for all that coldness (I'm only cold when I'm pissed and then I normally regret words or actions - in fact I'm accused of being too soft sometimes), they have a burning desire (let's pluralize that please - desires). Cancer women are romantics (YEP YEP YEP YEP YEP - can't agree on this one enough). Once you get past their crab shell exterior, their interior is a sweet inferno. They love romance and eroticism. She wants to be adored, loved and cared for (well DUH, you forgot worshipped...lol). If you are looking for more than just a “friends with benefits” relationship then do everything you can to appeal to her emotional side (pssssst - it's not that hard). On your dates she needs to feel as if you see nothing but her. She needs to be secure in knowing that when she is with you, there is nowhere else you would rather be (take special note of that word). Slipping in a few white lilies or roses as you are dating will always gain you their favor. Trust me; you want to gain their favor.
Cancer women are about the thought behind the action rather than the action itself (uh-huh for sure). You happen to have purchased a silver bracelet with moons on because she mentioned her natural affinity towards the celestial object. You have shown her you paid attention to what she says (SUCH a turn on - not the moons - the listening and paying attention). You leave her a good morning note on her car after a date, and it shows you think about her (swoon). You surprise her with a candlelight dinner at your place and she will know you want her to get comfortable because you are not going anywhere (big big big big points - big time). The effort will have gained her trust and make her want to be with you more.
She has a somewhat traditional view of dating. She would love to be properly courted (never happen). Though do not be surprised if she makes you chase her time and time again (well where's the fun in giving up right away?). It is how she weeds out the jerks and losers from the keepers. They get fed up and leave. A Cancer woman looks at each potential suitor as a potential partner, a permanent partner. No, she does not expect you to immediately marry her but she would like to know that if she wanted to you would (careful - the M word scares people).
She will not expect you to want to marry her so soon in your relationship but you just might find yourself wanting to. Once you gain the affections of a Cancer woman you may not want to leave. They have a both a domestic (k - those who know me NO LAUGHING) and maternal streak. No, she will not mother you but you will never have to want for anything at home. She will take care of the things you both need and you will wonder how you ever made it without her. Sometimes it is at this point where things go wrong for the Cancer woman.
They are so supportive that some are taken advantage (SING IT SISTER). As she slowly lets you in, you will see why those walls were up in the first place. Those who have taken advantage of her have scarred her deeply. The wounds may heal but with a Cancer but those scars never fade. This is why it is important to understand her. It sometimes seems as if she is making you pay for someone else's indiscretions but that isn’t the case. She has it in her head that the only person who will protect her is herself (and hence why I get argumentative and bitchy).
So yes, a Cancer woman is a little bit of work but once you have her it is worth it. Her passion rivals that of her Cardinal cousin Aries. She can be spontaneous and exciting (well, I don't like to brag...). She would love deep and erotic love making sessions with kisses that make her head spin (YES YES YES!). Cancer women are fiercely loyal.
A Cancer woman is very cut and dry; you can take them or leave them. That being said, it does not mean she is void of passion or emotion. It is quite the contrary. She may just as well be too passionate and emotional. She feels her way through life’s decisions and does not look back (ummm - I'm ALWAYS looking back - in regret mostly). So in order to seduce her, she needs to be in the mood (this is true - sort of. If he has his mind on seducing me, it's easy to get past my defenses). If she is in no mood to date, you won’t get to even knock on her door.
So how do you get your Cancer woman in the mood? Be direct with your intent. She wants a partner who is not needy or greedy (well, it's nice to be needed...and greedy can be fun once in awhile). For all her shyness (HA!) and general reserve (*giggle*), she admires and appreciates a partner who is confident and forthcoming (nothing sexier than confidence that's for sure). If you are less than that and she finds out, you are cut off completely and irrevocably (actually I tend to waver on this one). Once a Cancer woman decides to have a partner in their life, whether it is a booty call situation or a relationship, they take it seriously (well this is definitely true). They like parameters and would rather not have them changed without being mutually agreed upon.
She will have no problem leaving you behind (REALLY? Ok maybe in one or two special circumstances but usually not this Cancer - no one gets left behind - I'm kind of like the military that way). It sounds harsh and it is but for all that coldness (I'm only cold when I'm pissed and then I normally regret words or actions - in fact I'm accused of being too soft sometimes), they have a burning desire (let's pluralize that please - desires). Cancer women are romantics (YEP YEP YEP YEP YEP - can't agree on this one enough). Once you get past their crab shell exterior, their interior is a sweet inferno. They love romance and eroticism. She wants to be adored, loved and cared for (well DUH, you forgot worshipped...lol). If you are looking for more than just a “friends with benefits” relationship then do everything you can to appeal to her emotional side (pssssst - it's not that hard). On your dates she needs to feel as if you see nothing but her. She needs to be secure in knowing that when she is with you, there is nowhere else you would rather be (take special note of that word). Slipping in a few white lilies or roses as you are dating will always gain you their favor. Trust me; you want to gain their favor.
Cancer women are about the thought behind the action rather than the action itself (uh-huh for sure). You happen to have purchased a silver bracelet with moons on because she mentioned her natural affinity towards the celestial object. You have shown her you paid attention to what she says (SUCH a turn on - not the moons - the listening and paying attention). You leave her a good morning note on her car after a date, and it shows you think about her (swoon). You surprise her with a candlelight dinner at your place and she will know you want her to get comfortable because you are not going anywhere (big big big big points - big time). The effort will have gained her trust and make her want to be with you more.
She has a somewhat traditional view of dating. She would love to be properly courted (never happen). Though do not be surprised if she makes you chase her time and time again (well where's the fun in giving up right away?). It is how she weeds out the jerks and losers from the keepers. They get fed up and leave. A Cancer woman looks at each potential suitor as a potential partner, a permanent partner. No, she does not expect you to immediately marry her but she would like to know that if she wanted to you would (careful - the M word scares people).
She will not expect you to want to marry her so soon in your relationship but you just might find yourself wanting to. Once you gain the affections of a Cancer woman you may not want to leave. They have a both a domestic (k - those who know me NO LAUGHING) and maternal streak. No, she will not mother you but you will never have to want for anything at home. She will take care of the things you both need and you will wonder how you ever made it without her. Sometimes it is at this point where things go wrong for the Cancer woman.
They are so supportive that some are taken advantage (SING IT SISTER). As she slowly lets you in, you will see why those walls were up in the first place. Those who have taken advantage of her have scarred her deeply. The wounds may heal but with a Cancer but those scars never fade. This is why it is important to understand her. It sometimes seems as if she is making you pay for someone else's indiscretions but that isn’t the case. She has it in her head that the only person who will protect her is herself (and hence why I get argumentative and bitchy).
So yes, a Cancer woman is a little bit of work but once you have her it is worth it. Her passion rivals that of her Cardinal cousin Aries. She can be spontaneous and exciting (well, I don't like to brag...). She would love deep and erotic love making sessions with kisses that make her head spin (YES YES YES!). Cancer women are fiercely loyal.
Do not let harsh reality of her life deter you from wanting to be a part of it (honestly it's a lot of fun despite the drama). She is certainly not letting it hold her back. She continues to move forward and wants someone to move forward with her. Give her a chance; understand her idiosyncrasies and you will be rewarded. You will have an amazing woman that will give you a life full of content and satisfaction. She will give you a relationship that is as exciting as it is stable. (*blush* well I try....) You will know a passion that could felt deep down in your bones and you will never forget how loved you are (I'll tell you every day and it might get annoying). So go ahead and crack open her shell then enjoy all the sweetness she has inside.
Well, it's not me to a T - but hell, many points are REALLY close.
Check yours out - how close are you?
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